Stephano's Gay Roommate (PewdiePhano-ClairePhano)
by OrangeRamen96
Summary: Based on Dane Cook's stand up of his gay roommate. Remember to go to bed on time, kiddies ! Oh, and if you can guess who Stephano went off with, you get... um... a congrats! Hint: It is a DeviantART member. See my profile for disclaimers ! Please Review! It's what makes me want to write ! :)


Stephano yawned as he collapsed in bed. Pewdie had been acting weird that morning. He kept saying "S! S! S! S! S!" All morning long before he went out drinking with his friends. It was no secret that Pewdie was gay, it had been that way since before he became Stephano's roommate, and the golden man was fine with it, as long as the Swede paid rent, he didn't care what the gay man did.

But Stephano was still stuck on why he was shouting the letter 'S' all day. It confused him to his wit's end, and he finally decided to take some sleeping medicine to try to get his mind off the subject. Stephano soon found himself in the kitchen, pouring the night-time cough syrup into the small medicine cup that the bottle came with.

He quickly downed the liquid and felt a shiver rock through his spine as he also cringed because of the taste. The sink was soon turned on as the french man swallowed down the water rushing out of the sink, hoping to get the horrible medicinal licorice taste out of his mouth. Once that was done, Stephano turned back to his room and collapsed on the mattress, falling asleep quickly.

~*~*~DREAM WORLD~*~*~

"Stephano," the golden, female statue said, getting closer to the golden male. The two matched perfectly, the only difference being that one had a penis, and the other had a vagina and boobs. Stephano's hair was as long as the woman's, albeit tied up in a loose ponytail, and hanging down the back of his head.

"Claire... you look so beautiful," the golden man said, going to stroke the side of the woman's face. He then noticed something was wrong. The shimmer of love in Claire's eyes turned to something darker and more sinister. She slowly got on her knees in front of him, and starting to undo his pants, making sure to do it as torturously slow as possible. Stephano moaned and leaned his head backwards, enjoying the feel of it. It had been so long since he had sexual contact with another. Then images flashed through his mind.

"Why are you so jealous, Claire?"

"I'm not jealous. I'm leaving. Goodbye forever, Stephano."

He groaned, leaning his head back, the feeling of his world swirling and mixing around him was not a new feeling. But these memories... we're they real? Was he just imagining this?

"No! Please don't. I didn't mean to upset you!"

"I know... I love you. But you need to STAY AWAY from her. Forever."

Who was Claire so upset about? Stephano started shaking his head, and the words became clearer as he realized that something had happened. Claire's moans got deeper, manlier. What exactly was going on here?!

"Claire... I can't. She's just a friend, and I hope you'll one day realize this. But for now..."

"What are you saying? Don't... don't you love me anymore?"

No... no he didn't love this woman anymore. That's right. She'd completely freaked out and drove all her friends away. Stephano tried opening his eyes, but to no avail. He then realized that this must be a dream, but the feeling of the hot, wet cavern around his length was definitely no dream.

"Of course I do... but you don't trust me. We need trust. I'm sorry... but this can't go on any longer."

"Stephano ple-"

"No. I'm sorry. I love you, but... I have to let you go. Goodbye, Claire. I hope the future looks kindly upon you."

~*~*~REAL WORLD~*~*~

Stephano started feeling hazy, but was able to shake his head more, and start opening his eyes to his dark room. Was it really all just a dream? The golden man looked over to his digital alarm clock to see that it was 3AM. Not a pleasant time to be waking up. Then he felt something shift in his blankets. What the hell? Did he have bugs now?

Carefully, Stephano lifted the blankets, ready to bat away any bugs that were around him. He then saw blond hair bobbing up and down. Confused, he thought about it. Then it made sense. The dream. The blowjob. How everything felt real. That's because it was. Pewdie was giving him a blowjob... WAIT. WHAT?! "PEWDIE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Stephano yelled, finally realizing what the hell was going on.

Pewdie lifted his head and giggled, a single string of saliva still attaching him to the gold man, until it broke from him moving away. "Hahahaha~ I- *hic* I'm drunk and s-sucking ssssex. Hahahaha~!" The Swede said in a drunken slur.

Stephano still couldn't believe his eyes. Then he said the first thing that came to mind, and the one thing he would never forget that he said: "You finish the fuck up, then get the hell out of here!" He roared, still shocked and unbelieving in his mind.

Pewdie smiled, then went down again, slowly adding pressure at certain points, and making Stephano grab onto the blond locks, pant, groan, and moan loudly. He came in Pewdie's mouth with a strangled groan, and then panted for a few minutes while Pewdie left, slurring, giggling, and bumping into everything he came across.

Pewdie forgot it the next morning, mainly because of the horrible hangover he had. About a year later, they went their separate ways, and Stephano had forgotten by then. He was dating this one brunette chick with yellow eyes last time Pewdie saw him. The only one who didn't forget was the youngest in that situation.

The little girl who stayed up past her bedtime one night, heard the most frightening monster growls of her life, and from that point onward, never missed curfew or bed time.


End file.
